Have you ever heard this phrase?
“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.”
I am sure you must have it is a pretty common proverb. People use it all over the world and yet they do not follow it.
This is not just a phrase; it should be the way all humans perceive beauty. It is in some ways and it is not in many ways.
The phrase means that beauty always lies in the way someone sees it. My perspective of beauty will most definitely not be similar to yours.
I might find loud, eccentric, neon colours perfect to depict beauty, while you may think that subtle nudes can only be classified as beautiful.
And there is nothing wrong in both scenarios. I personally feel that everything and everyone is beautiful in their own right.
Some people have extremely beautiful and expressive eyes that twinkle when they smile;
Some people have a heart-melting smile, despite their crooked teeth and showing gums;
Some people have beautiful, lush, voluminous hair that captivate anyone who sees them go by;
And I have not even started on the inner beauty, which lies inside our heart and soul. Like we cannot say that a child is not beautiful, we should also never say that the adults lack the beauty gene.
Here am I targeting an unreasonably and illogically set beauty standard of our society; a beauty standard that made my life a living hell from the beginning.
I am shorter than the average women. I barely stand at 5 feet and I am okay with that. I cannot change my genes, so acceptance is the only option; acceptance of bullying and criticism since before I even knew what those two words meant.
The Aftermath of the Criticism
The constant memes on Instagram and Facebook let us know what people really think of us. And there is no dearth of short people memes on social media to make us feel more insecure than we already are.
Who has given any one the right to say
that you are less than perfect?
that you should have played basketball when you were young?
that you might be the victim of stunted growth?
These comments may be seen as fun and jokes to the person who says them, but people like me tend to think otherwise.
These insults are the reason I had low self-esteem all my life.
These insults are the reason I was never comfortable in my own body.
These insults are the reason I almost took my life because I did not think anyone loved me or could love me.
Yes, I could not handle the insults and the bullying any longer so I decided to end my life, without thinking how my parents would endure my loss. I was being selfish and thankfully, I realised it and did not go through with it.
But what if I had?
Who would have been responsible for my suicide?
Who would have been punished for the loss of my family?
I do not think there is an answer to these questions, but there should be. And if I say that the criticism and the bullying stopped when I became an accomplished adult, I would most definitely be wrong.
Finally Fighting Back
Many do not even acknowledge my existence. Working in a male dominant corporate world with a height so little, is too much to handle sometimes. My feet are always sour because I never leave home without heels.
My colleague, who is the meanest of them all, once said and I am quoting verbatim;
“You are slightly better than me only because you work twice as hard as me. And you have to because you know; you need to compensate for your height.”
You can guess who ‘you’ is in this quoted text.
Upon hearing this, I was beyond livid. I work twice as hard because I want to succeed in the corporate ladder, not because I am trying to compensate for something that does not even need compensating.
And even if I was, who was he to say that to me.
After giving him a piece of my mind on his comment and that too not very politely, I felt somewhat better. To say that he was embarrassed would be an understatement, unashamed would be more appropriate.
That incident changed the way I started seeing myself and also how others saw me in the office. Now, I am the office’s formidable badass, no one dares to make fun off. And I could not be happier.
Why is Being Short a Crime?
I do not understand why people are obsessed with height.
The average height of Japanese is 5’2” and they do not discriminate against each other for just that. It would be highly stupid of them, if they did.
So, are we, the rest of the world, just plain stupid?
I think we are. That is why we are bullying and traumatising people for something they have no control over.
People literally take up bad credit loans with no guarantor and no credit check to get their appearance altered from professionals. They do it by taking on a debt that could be used for something much better, just to meet the society’s standards of beauty.
How unjustified is that?
You know you are beautiful and always will be and your appearance does not play a role in that.
If you have gone through life with people commenting on the way you look, I want to tell you that all those comments do not mean a thing; they are as rubbish as rubbish can be.